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Who will cry for the little boy?






The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.~ X



​Who will cry for the little boy? My first book “The time I cried in Dr. Moore’s Office” was written to start the conversation to answer the question posed by Antwone Fisher who will cry for the little boy trapped inside the angry man. Crying and showing a form of weakness is a very foreign concept for Black youth who not only grow up in the hood but who grow up black and confused. Anger often one of the mighty misunderstood emotions, is used as a tool to display an underlying emotion that is sunken inside our little boys; it just takes the right ears to listen.


Angry, defined by Webster's Dictionary as a strong displeasure often accompanied by feelings of hostility, anger serves as a primal instinct tied closely to survival mechanisms (Merriam-Webster, 2005). For Black boys, however, anger often transcends individual experiences, shaped significantly by historical and systemic injustices such as slavery, healthcare disparities, and police brutality.







The Neighborhood Pressure Cooker


Picture this: growing up in a neighborhood where just making it to school feels like navigating a minefield. The pressures are real—gangs, violence, poverty—you name it. In these streets, showing vulnerability is like handing out free ammo. So, what's a young Black boy to do? He learns early on that anger is armor, a shield against a world that doesn't cut him any slack (except maybe the wrong kind).


The media, literature, and societal discourse often perpetuate misconceptions about anger among Black youth, a phenomenon supported by research. Studies indicate that Black youth are frequently misinterpreted as consistently angry compared to their white peers, resulting in biased perceptions and harsher consequences (Cooke et al., 2021; Neal et al., 2003; Winerman, 2021). Hollywood's portrayal of Black boys amplifies this stereotype—how many times have we seen the "angry Black kid" archetype in movies? It's as if every Black boy is just one bad day away from causing havoc. Music, too, plays a role, sometimes glorifying anger as the primary means of being heard. This perpetuates a cycle where media stereotypes influence behavior and societal expectations, reinforcing the challenges Black boys face in expressing their emotions authentically.


Throughout history, Black individuals have faced enduring challenges that trigger persistent survival instincts, perpetuating cycles of anger within their communities. This chronic activation of the sympathetic nervous system, known as the fight, flight, or freeze response, is a direct result of ongoing threats to their security and sense of belonging (Ashley, 2014). Moreover, societal stereotypes and microaggressions, such as labeling Black individuals as "The Angry Black Man" or "The Angry Black Woman," further reinforce negative perceptions and deepen feelings of anger (Ashley, 2014).


Anger among Black boys manifests in various forms, from overt expressions of aggression to covert behaviors driven by societal pressures. The concept of hypermasculinity often compels Black boys to suppress vulnerability and project strength, resulting in outward displays of aggression as a defense mechanism against perceived threats (Cassidy & Stevenson, 2005). This hyper masculine behavior not only masks underlying emotional distress but also perpetuates stereotypes and diminishes expectations for academic and social success (Cassidy & Stevenson, 2005).


Coping in a Complex World


In addressing anger among Black youth, it's essential to recognize that anger is often a manifestation of deeper emotions like frustration, hurt, and a longing for understanding within a context of systemic challenges and societal pressures (Blasi & Milton, 1991; Erikson, 1970; Majors & Billson, 1992; Gibbs, 1998; Spencer, Seaton, & Harpalani, 2000; White & Cones, 1999). Effective coping skills are crucial for navigating these complexities. One effective approach is fostering emotional intelligence, helping youth identify and understand the underlying emotions triggering their anger. Research suggests that mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, can help manage intense feelings in the moment (Cumming, Zelazo, et al., 2022).


Therapy plays a pivotal role in this process by equipping Black youth with tools to navigate their emotions and environments constructively (Pascoe et al., 2020; Anderson et al., 2000). Cognitive-behavioral strategies, for instance, assist in challenging negative thought patterns and developing healthier responses to stress and anger triggers. Additionally, creative outlets like art, music, or writing provide constructive means for processing emotions (Marlborough, 2020).

Building a supportive network is equally crucial. Peer support groups and mentorship programs offer spaces where Black youth feel understood and validated, enhancing their ability to manage anger and build resilience (Little, 2015). Positive relationships with supportive adults who offer guidance and encouragement also play a significant role in emotional regulation and overall well-being (Little, 2015).In my therapy with black youth I have often included videos from famous rappers such as NBA Youngboy or Rod Wave who tells the story of their experience allow for connection.


Engaging in community involvement and activism empowers Black youth to channel their anger into constructive action (Marlborough, 2020). Advocating for social justice issues that resonate with them allows youth to assert their voices and address systemic inequalities, fostering a sense of agency and purpose. These activities not only empower youth but also provide avenues for healing and growth within their communities.

In conclusion, empowering Black youth to cope with anger involves acknowledging their experiences, providing tools for emotional regulation, fostering supportive relationships, and encouraging activism. By implementing these strategies, we can cultivate resilience and empower young individuals to navigate and challenge the complexities of their world with confidence and clarity.


Moving Forward with Purpose


Understanding and validating anger among Black boys requires us to challenge stereotypes and recognize the underlying historical injustices and societal pressures they face. It's essential to create environments where authenticity and vulnerability are celebrated, fostering pathways for healing and resilience through empathy, understanding, and advocacy. Beyond the anger lies passion, excellence, and love—qualities that deserve recognition and support. My commitment is to stand with my Black brothers, offering belief, love, and a safe space to navigate and express their emotions authentically. Together, let's rewrite the narrative, ensuring their voices are heard, their dreams are valued, and their journey toward healing is affirmed. I send this letter to my black angry little brothers: I believe in you, I love you and I’m here to cry with you always. - Big Bro


Discussion Questions:

  1. How do societal stereotypes about anger, like the "angry Black kid" stereotype portrayed in media and literature, affect your own experiences and interactions within your community and school?

  2. What are some effective strategies you've found helpful in managing feelings of anger and frustration in environments where showing vulnerability may be perceived as weakness?

  3. In what ways do you think supportive relationships with peers and adults can help you navigate challenges related to anger and build resilience? How important are these relationships in your journey?

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